My mom, Thelma: 96 years old, full of health and Bush's Beans

Thelma Flannery in her kitchen on Nov. 24, 2017

Note: This was written as a "Thought of the Day" for the Rotary Club of Appleton's meeting on Jan. 9, 2018.

Good afternoon, and welcome to the first meeting of the Rotary Club of Appleton in 2018.

If you were with us last year, and scored along with the events of the year, you might recall that 2018 is the 101st year of this august body.

That’s a long time to do pretty much anything, much less affect a community the way this club has for a century.

So, congrats to us for our contributions, our partnerships, our camaraderie and our commitment to “service above self.” Thanks to each of you for helping on our collective journey.

What we do here is important and difference-making.

But … more importantly, in my humble view, 2018 begins the 97th year of my mother’s life.

Thelma Flannery celebrates her 96^th birthday today or tomorrow, about two hours north of here, in Crandon, Wisconsin.

She’s never been too sure about the actual date of her arrival, back in Fillmore, Ky., in 1922.

The birth certificate says one thing, and her parents told her another.

After 96 years, you’d think she’d have that detail nailed down. But she doesn’t, and she doesn’t much care.

“Just as long as I have one,” she tells me.

You might consider her life unremarkable.

She’s never belonged to a club like this. She’s never touched alcohol, never puffed tobacco, and hasn’t had a driver’s license since 1962.

And as a 60-year member of the Lakeland Baptist Church, she’s never allowed a deck of playing cards in her house.

Her name has seldom been in our hometown newspaper, and she’s never received an award, or entered the lottery, or travelled abroad.

She doesn’t understand technology, doesn’t have a smartphone, never sent an email.

Thelma Flannery with one of her most recent quilts.
She quilts Monday through Saturday, but never Sunday.

But she has prepared hundreds of thousands of meals for her family, and she has played hundreds of games of Scrabble with her kids and grandkids, and she has assembled more than 2,000 quilts that have gone to friends, family, strangers, adults and children who just need to know that someone cares.

She raised five generally productive members of society. One of them passed away two years ago.

For almost 53 years, she was married to Gorden Flannery, who preferred to spend his time hunting deer, partridge and ginseng, instead of helping in the responsible work of child-rearing.

He passed away in 1994.

For more than 20 years now, she’s lived in the same senior apartment building. Her neighbors have come in good health, and left in poor health. She knows that drill all too well.

A few months back, she told me that two ladies in her building were hospitalized.

We talked about their health issues, compared to her relatively good health.

“You know,” she said, “one of the last times I went to see the doctor, they couldn’t believe it. They said, ‘Look at her. Just look at her.’

“I didn’t know what they were looking at.

“One of the doctors asked me what I do to stay so healthy. He asked me if I live on a farm.

“When I went to Schafer’s store a while back to get groceries, one of the women there told me, ‘You never change. You always look the same. What do you do?’

“And I told her, ‘I eat Bush’s Beans.’”

So, there you have it. Open a can of Bush’s Beans. Live long.

I share my mom’s story for a reason. We’re not here forever. We have a relatively short time on the planet, and while it seems like “we grow old,” I’m not sure that’s accurate.

In most cases, we live as long as we can. We learn things, we raise kids, we work at our chosen profession. We have hobbies and habits. We do some things well, and some things horribly. 

Early on, we live with our folks and they guide us. 

Later, we help them live, as they helped us learn to live.

And, if we can, we’re there at the end.

Our parents aren’t here long. Know and love them while you can. 

Understand where they’ve been, what they’ve sacrificed, and what they do every day. 

Understand why they are who they are, and where they came from.

Last night, I called my mom, just to check in and see how she’s doing, and to see if she had advice to share.

She told me she went to church Sunday. “And I could barely get out of there,” she said. “Everyone was telling me that I look so good, and that I’m doing so well. I had a hard time getting out of the church.”

I suggested that this was a good thing, and that people must be happy for her.

“I guess so,” she said.

“So, what’s the secret to living a long time?” I asked.

I thought she’d say something about abstaining from evil drink, or reading the Bible, or limiting red meat in meals, or keeping your mind and hands busy by quilting six days a week, all of which she still does.

But, no.

“What’s that?” she said. Thelma still does a lot of things pretty well, but wearing her hearing aids is not one of those things.

I spoke louder and clearer.

“I said, ‘What’s the secret to living a long time? What would you tell someone who wondered how you do so well at your age?”

“Bush’s Beans. You know what they are, right? They’re pretty good. And I really believe they help me.”

It’s hard to argue with 96 years of success. So, I share her wisdom with you.

There’s a party for her this week. Her kids, grandkids and friends will be there for an hour or so, and they’ll celebrate her as we’ve done for a long, long time.

There will be cake and ice cream.

But I hope they have a can of Bush’s Beans ready to share, too.

They’re pretty good, you know.

The thought of the day.